


Kiss Me Like You Miss Me, Red

by firefilia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Astral Plane, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Confessions, Dreamscapes, First Kiss, Gay Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Insomnia, M/M, idk it's mostly just me rambling, langst i guess?, might turn this into a multichap if people like it???, story time with the red lion, written mostly post s5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 12:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15729870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefilia/pseuds/firefilia
Summary: Lance hasn't been able to sleep lately. He decides to try to bond with the Red Lion to fill his sleepless nights. Red has more than a few things to say, not only about him but about the two previous Red paladins.





	Kiss Me Like You Miss Me, Red

Lance couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t exactly a new thing, but it had gotten worse lately. When he’d been back home, he’d always slept like a rock. When they’d first come to the castle, he’d started waking up in the middle of the artificial night, the unfamiliarity of the blank metal walls so different from the smattering of posters at home, or the cluttered dorm room he’d shared with Hunk. As time went on, he’d begun collecting souvenirs from the planets and people they encountered. He even had the Mercury Gameflux in the middle of his room now, courtesy of Pidge. It felt more like home.

 

They’d gotten Shiro back somehow, and they were making real progress in the fight against the Galra. Things were… good.

 

Then Keith started his Blade training.

 

With his constant absence, there was a clear and beyond uncomfortable imbalance in the team. More and more often, they’d be in the heat of battle and be unable to form Voltron. They’d go on missions or to rallies, and every time, the audience would want  _ Voltron _ . He could feel his heart drop further and further each time it happened.

 

After one particularly nasty battle, he’d pulled out all the stops to try and keep the team together. Keith had shown up late,  _ again _ , but they’d done well.

 

“How ‘bout those moves from our fearless leader, huh?” he’d chimed as they filed back onto the main deck, throwing his arm across Keith’s shoulders and nudging him.

 

Rather than the usual enthusiastic chimes of agreement, he got a weak smile from Allura, Hunk humming lightly, and Pidge muttering “I’ll be in the lab…” before swiftly leaving to change.

 

Lance huffed. “C’mon guys, we-” he stopped as Keith slipped out from under his arm and headed to the exit, saying “It’s fine, Lance.” in an unusually small voice before the door shut behind him.

Lance looked back to Hunk and Allura for help but was met simply with sympathetic stares. Hunk patted his shoulder as he left the room. Allura stopped in front of him, opening her mouth as if to say something, but snapping it shut as they made eye contact. She settled for a light squeeze to his arm before she left too.

 

He turned, only to see Coran tensely typing away at one of the consoles. And… Shiro. He was staring out at the stars, jaw clenched, arms crossed, eyes set with something Lance had never seen in them before. Lance decided he’d rather not find out what that was and followed Allura out.

 

\--

 

Something had broken in them when the Black Lion accepted Shiro again. Even Lance. He’d been trying  _ so hard _ . To keep them all together. To keep them all safe. To be a good Right Hand. And Keith had just- given up. He was supposed to be there for them. Lead them. They’d nearly  _ died _ . So he only felt a little guilty when the team’s glares were met in Keith’s eyes with shock and pain.

 

Then Keith said he was leaving. Not just for the day, or the week, hell, even the month. Leaving the team. For good.

Hunk, Pidge, and Coran had burst into tears as they were all drawn into a group hug, surrounding Keith. Allura has a soft smile on her face, but he sees something distant, old, and sad in her eyes. He finds himself pressed up against Keith’s back, staring straight into the damned mullet.

Lance doesn’t miss the smile falling from Keith’s face as he turns to leave the ship.

 

It’s the first night Lance doesn’t sleep at all.

 

The second time it happens he finds himself wondering down to Red’s hangar, staring up at the dormant lion.

 

“Hey Red.” Nothing. He kicks the ground and tries again. “Y’know, I used to do this all the time with Blue. Though I guess she’s pretty talkative. Thought maybe at some point you’d like to open up a little?” Still nothing. He laughs. “Alright, buddy. It okay if I just sit here? You take as much time as you need.” He sat down with his legs crossed, pulling his bathrobe tighter around him. After what seemed like an eternity of drumming on the ground and twiddling his thumbs, he spoke up again.

“I know I said I was gonna stay quiet, but you’ve seen inside my head. I gotta talk to someone Red, and something tells me you’re willing to listen.” He hesitated for a few moments. “Why… why’d you choose me? I mean, I’m pretty sure Allura is a bit more qualified to pilot you than I am,” He laughed to himself, a little bitterly this time. “And I’m no Keith.”

 

At the mention of Keith’s name, his head was filled with the low rumble of Red… growling? Purring? He wasn’t quite sure. The lion’s eyes took on their yellow glow as it bent down and opened its mouth.

 

“Ah. I see. Is that the password? Instead of ‘open sesame’?” Another low grumble. It sounded a little annoyed. “Alright, alright, I’m comin’.”

 

He slid into the pilot’s seat, hands sliding across the controls, the lion purring in response. He cooed. “Awww, did you just need a little attention boy? All you had to do was ask.” He felt a response, something like Red rolling his eyes. Red did that a lot. At first, he’d been confused as to why Red even let him in in the first place if he was so irritated with Lance. Then he’d realized that was just part of the package. Red cared, and Red cared  _ a lot _ , but that came out in equal bursts of passion and aggression, something he synced with perfectly when they flew together. It reminded him of someone else he knew.

 

Enough of that.

 

“So. Red. You’ve got me here. I demand answers!” he shook his fist in the air for dramatic effect, then dropped it into his lap, continuing in a much smaller voice. “Why me?”

 

He was jarred a little by Red’s full presence in his mind, hundreds of blurry images flashing by in a second. Suddenly, the world stilled. He was still in Red, but the outside was lit, and he could see… the other lions? He wasn’t in the hangar anymore, but still the castle? He jumped out of the pilot’s seat at the sound of a voice behind him. He looked down the hall to see a complete stranger slowly leading someone else up the ramp. He was a young man, decked in blue and gold, hair in a ponytail, and… Altean markings? Everything fully clicked when the man and the woman he was leading began to stride carefully towards the cockpit. That was King Alfor, and… his heart swelled with warmth as the couple stopped on the other side of the pilot’s seat. Alfor wrapped his arms around the Queen, their hands intertwining on top of her swollen belly.

 

Lance could feel Alfor and Red’s combined emotions. This child is the most important thing in the world. This child will be safe. Happy. Loved. We’ll make sure of it.

 

Alfor hummed “Little One, meet Red. Red, meet the Little One.”

 

An incredibly loud purr resounded throughout the lion, eliciting warm laughter from the Queen, who turned to her husband, taking his hands. “Darling, I think, just maybe, that Red here is excited.” Another loud purr shook the lion, the Queen pulling in a laughing Alfor for a kiss.

 

The scenery changed once more, the warmth and safety rapidly falling away to a wartorn, burning landscape outside. A much older Alfor, the one he’d seen in the castle, sat in the pilot’s seat, face contorted with despair, rage, hurt, desperation, and most of all grief. Lance can hear his thoughts, silent tears pooling in his eyes.

 

_ Blaytz. Trigel. Gyrgan. _

 

Those three names repeated, over and over and over, a different image, a different memory each time, for each face.

 

_ Altea Altea Altea. _

Alfor pushes Red forward at full speed.

_ Allura is safe. Coran will protect her. At least she’s safe. _

 

Alfor screams, yells, something in him shattering. Red roars with him. The lion lands. Alfor stands, drawing his sword.

 

_ Goodbye, Red. _

 

A dark figure stands outside, unfazed by the enraged pair, eyes glowing yellow. Lance knows who that is.

 

_ Zarkon. _

 

The view is now that of an asteroid belt. He hears Shiro’s voice. Keith is right next to him, a confident smirk plastered on his face. Red surges forward, dodging, bobbing, and weaving until they slam down on top of Nyma and Rolo’s ship. Lance walks up next to the pilot’s seat and side-eyes Keith, feeling a bit like he’s intruding.

 

“YEAH!” laughter bubbles out of Keith, and Lance feels heat rise to his cheeks. He’s not sure which one of them is feeling that. “Hey Lance, I got your lion back.”

 

He hears his own voice faintly over the comms, and his heart rate speeds up. Or Keith’s? He can’t tell. He shakes his head as Keith responds. “What’s that? I, uh… you’re cutting out. I can’t- I can’t hear you.”

 

The world shifts again, Keith disappearing from the pilot seat. He’s back in Red’s hangar, and he thinks the visits to the past are done, when the doors to the cockpit swish open, and there stands a very sullen Keith. He’s in his regular clothes, breathing heavily like he’s just come from the training deck. He slowly strides up to the pilot’s seat and rests his head against the back of it, sighing deeply. Keith’s stress seeps into Lance’s mind, as well as his thoughts.

 

_ Why, Red? _

 

Lance’s brow furrows. Why what?

 

_ Shiro’s back, so why? _

 

Keith slumps to the ground, and Lance sees the black bayard in his hand. He sets it down on his lap, then holds his head in his hands. Then he hears his own voice echoing in Keith’s mind.

 

_ “One paladin too many.” _

 

Keith takes his Blade out of his belt, holding it up next to the bayard, turning both of them over in his hands for a while.

 

_ “So… maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside.” _

 

Keith puts the bayard on the ground and slowly nods his head. Lance’s eyes widen in horror and realization. He throws himself down on the ground in front of Keith, snatching at the Blade, but his hand passes right through. Keith returns the knife to its place at his hip, pulling out a communicator. Kolivan’s face appears on the screen.

“Kolivan? I think I’d like to change my answer about training with you.”

 

Lance reaches out to him, yelling his name, but he slips through, gasping as he finds himself sitting in the pilot seat again.

 

_ It’s my fault. _

 

He starts spending his nights talking to Red a lot after that. Trying to sort things out. Red’s not nearly as talkative as he had been, but he needs to talk to  _ someone _ , and he doesn’t exactly want to admit to the team that  _ he _ convinced Keith to leave.

 

\--

 

He’s sitting in the pilot’s seat, absentmindedly running his hands over the controls, when Red suddenly blazes to life, shooting out of the hangar doors, leaving a desperate pajama-clad Lance screaming at him.

 

“RED! Red buddy I don’t know what’s going on here but you gotta go back, I-” Red growls and flies even faster as Lance desperately pulls back on the controls, “RED! Listen to me! I know I’m not Keith, but we’ve gotta work as a team here- oh. Oh.” Lance goes quiet as Red comes to a stop in front of the wreckage of a ship, a rebel ship at that. There’s debris floating all around him, as well as a few passengers helplessly drifting. His voice is soft, “Alright kitty, let’s help as many of these people as we can.” and presses the controls forward. Red doesn’t move. He’s about to snap at the ridiculous beast when he sees several figures in black and purple zipping through the wreck. About five Blades, propelling themselves off of broken pieces, weaving and dodging, each snatching any survivors they find. One zips right in front of Red, flipping several times in the air and then freezing, turning around, looking directly into his eyes.

 

_ It’s you. _

 

Lance is thrown backward with blinding speed, the scene of the shipwreck falling away as his back slams into the pilot’s seat. Once more, he finds that they haven’t even left the hangar.

 

\--

 

He’s back the next night.

 

“Red, are you gonna tell me what that was about?”

 

He feels Red push at his consciousness, something along the lines of  _ “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” _

 

“Red. C’mon. You’re trying to tell me something, and I don’t know what it is. Why… why would you show me all that stuff with Keith? Are you mad at me because I talked him into leaving? If you’re trying to make me feel guilty, no need. Already do.”

 

Red plays his own voice back to him:  _ “Why’d you choose me?” _ Then: Alfor thinking about his family, about the paladins of old.  _ I’ll protect them. _ Keith thinking about Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, Allura, Coran, him.  _ I’ll protect them _ . Those same faces flash through his mind, his parents, his siblings, his niece and nephew.  _ I’ll protect them. _

 

Lance’s eyes swell with the beginnings of tears again.

 

“You were answering my question?” A purr of confirmation. He scrunched up his face in confusion. “Then- then why show me all that stuff with Keith? What is that supposed to tell me?” Red purrs again, and a wave of calm drifts over him. He can feel his eyelids drooping, and he gives in, hoping for some real sleep for the first time in months.

 

Then he’s falling. He opens his eyes to the wind whipping around him, a red sky full of stars above him, reflecting onto the shining blue ground. He hits it, hard, groaning in pain as he rights himself and fully takes in his surroundings. The sparkling sky and reflective ground come together on the horizon in a brilliant stripe of lilac, and there are two moons in the sky, one red, one blue. Underneath the moons off in the distance is Red. He looks down to check the damage from his fall and finds that not only is he fine, he’s glowing. Blue as his planet, his armor, his mother’s eyes. He starts wondering towards Red, and notices a small red figure sitting in front of the lion. Red purrs and he hears the figure laugh. Without a moment’s hesitation, he sprints forward, sliding to a stop directly behind them, gasping for breath. The hooded figure whips around at the sound. The hood falls away, and even with the Red tint, he’d know those eyes anywhere.

 

They speak at the same time.

“Lance.”

“Keith.”

 

There’s a moment or two where they just stare at each other. Keith stands, his eyes locking on the ground.

 

“Lance, what are you doing here?”

“Red brought me.”

“Oh.”

 

Lance looks carefully at Keith. His arms are crossed in front of him, he’s tapping one of his feet, and he has bags under his eyes too. Lance steps forward, close enough that Keith looks up in confusion. 

 

“What are  _ you _ doing here?” Lance didn’t exactly mean for it to come out so accusatory.

 

Keith winces. “I uh… I’ve been coming here for a while. I just closed my eyes for a second and then I was here. With Red.”

 

“But- you’re- you-”

 

“I know. I wasn’t sure how either. But we’re still connected,” a flicker of guilt passes over Keith’s face, and he stares at the ground. “He’s been, um. Updating me? On how you guys are doing. Mostly- mostly you.”

 

Lance could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Wh-?” he sputtered, throwing his hands up in the air, wildly waving them around until he settled with crossing them. “What have you seen?”

 

Keith’s face rises again with pink in his cheeks. “Calm down! Nothing any more embarrassing than the usual.” Lance scoffs. “Just. You. Being you. You’re a good right hand.”

 

Lance laughs bitterly. “Yeah. I’m great. I’d be even better if anybody would listen to me.”

 

Keith looks directly into his eyes at that, with an intensity that would unsettle stronger men than Lance. They’re  _ so _ purple. He’s missed them.  _ Not now Lance. _

 

“Lance, if  you’re thinking you should leave the team again-”

 

“Oh my god, no, we sorted that one out. Of course that’s the first thing you’d think of.”

 

Keith backs up a step.  _ Come back. _ “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Lance steps forward. There’s about a foot between them. They used to argue like this all the time  _ without _ his heart threatening to leap out of his chest.

 

“It means,  _ Keith _ , that you can’t just tell your teammate they’re being an idiot, and then go and do the idiotic thing yourself.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Lance tugs at his hair with both hands, spinning away from Keith and grunting in frustration at the sheer obliviousness. “I’m talking-”  _ deep breath _ “I’m  _ talking  _ about how I came to  _ you _ for advice, right.  _ YOU,  _ because, y’know, I had this thought, that we were working really well together, we were getting along, maybe we were  _ friends  _ now, and that maybe we could talk to each other about what was going on in our lives. That maybe, at some point, you’d talk to  _ me _ . But no. No. You took what  _ I _ said, you  _ hypocrite _ and you-” he chokes on his words, attempting to collect himself.

 

There’s a hand on his shoulder, tugging.

  
“Lance.”

 

He refuses to move.

 

“Lance. Look at me.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Fine.” A deep breath. “First of all, I was really happy you came to talk to me. For advice even. Actually, you’re the only person who’s ever done that. So, kinda a dumb idea.”

 

Lance whipped around to glare at Keith, who now had the faintest of smug smiles. Lance wasn’t going to bother hiding his embarrassment.

 

“Second, you know why I left. I was already spending time with the blade, and Shiro was always meant to be the leader. You guys don’t need me there.”

 

“But-” Lance starts to object but then realizes he’s not sure what he’s objecting to. Keith made a choice. It’s none of his business.

 

“But what?” Keith looks genuinely concerned, confused, stepping closer to Lance again. Those  _ eyes _ . The  _ lashes _ . The  _ pout _ on those lips. As if he wasn’t already confused enough. “What’s going on Lance? Do I need to come back?”

 

“You don’t.”

 

Keith steps forward so their toes are nearly touching. Lance can feel Keith’s breath. Lance barely registers he’s holding his.

 

The lilac eyes continue their interrogation. “Then what’s the problem?”

 

“I-” he searches for an escape route, any way out of this conversation. He tries to wake up. Maybe this is just a dream, right? He’s not even sure he knows the answer, but his mouth moves. “I want you to come back.”

 

Keith’s eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn’t back away. “Why?”

 

“You can’t be serious.”

 

“I am.”

 

“We’re a family. It’s different without you. We miss you.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘nope’?!”

 

“I mean you’re hiding something.”

 

“How could you possibly get that from ‘your family misses you’?”

 

“You look tired, you look stressed, you seem… upset.”

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. It’s in your eyes.”

 

Keith somehow gets closer to him, and Lance is just about ready to combust. “How would you know?”

 

Lance can almost see the thoughts in Keith’s eyes. “Answer for an answer?”

 

Lance doesn’t know which one of them broke the final bubble of personal space, he certainly doesn’t remember why or how his hands came to be hovering over Keith’s waist, nor does he remember when Keith rested a hand on his chest. “Sure.”

 

“I look at your eyes a lot. Your turn.”

 

“What?” he mumbles as if he’s in a trance.

 

Keith shakes his arm. “Your turn. Answer for an answer.”

“I uh. I miss you.”

 

Keith’s smirk makes his brain burst into flames.

 

“There.” as he taps Lance’s chest and backs up. Keith is yanked back and Lance realizes he’s grabbed Keith’s hand and pulled it back to his chest. He chokes out a “Wait,” as his mouth goes dry.

 

Keith scrunches his face up in confusion. “What’s going on, Lance?”

 

Lance raises a trembling hand to Keith’s face, brushing a few strands of hair curling onto Keith’s cheek away with his thumb while winding his other arm around Keith’s waist, pulling him flush against his body.

 

Keith gasps as his face blooms red, voice shaky and eyes wide. “Lance?”

 

Lance manages to explain himself, but his voice sounds disconnected from his body. “Can I kiss you?”

 

“ _ Oh. _ ”Keith’s expression softens as he leans in a bit, eyes gleaming. He takes a steadying breath and nods lightly as he tilts his head up and closes his eyes.

 

Lance curls his hand into the hair at the base of Keith’s neck, taking a deep breath as he pulls him forward and dives in.

 

It’s a softer moment than he expected from the two of them. He tentatively presses his lips into Keith’s chapped ones. He’ll fix that. He feels Keith’s arms slide over his shoulders and try to pull him even closer as Keith hums happily. Lance feels any tension fade from his body as sighs in relief, Keith’s tongue slipping in between his parted lips as Lance gasps. He hears Keith laugh at his reaction and practically growls, nipping at Keith’s bottom lip before pulling back and knocking their foreheads together, lightly stroking Keith’s cheek as they both gasp for air.

 

Keith’s nose bumps into his as Lance feels hands settle on either side of his face. “Lance?”

 

Lance can’t help the pure elation in his voice as he replies with a dazed, “Yeah?”

 

“I-”

 

Lance opens his eyes and Keith is gone, replaced by an out-of-focus Hunk, the concerned faces of the rest of the team hovering behind him in their pajamas.

“Lance, what happened?”

 

Lance grasps groggily at the fabric at Hunk’s shoulder, his hand failing to find purchase and falling to his side as he slurs his words. “ ‘M fiiine buddy.” _What just_ _happened?! It’s too damn warm!_

 

“No, you’re clearly not.” 

 

He grins to the best of his ability at the voice. “Oh, heyyy Princess!”

 

Allura pushes forward and presses a hand to his forehead, instantly recoiling in horror. “Lance, you’re burning up. Coran, prepare a pod  _ immediately. _ ”

 

Lance blinks in confusion, attempting to focus his vision as Hunk scoops him up and the team begins to trail behind him out of Red.  _ Was all that a dream? _

 

Shiro comes up next to him and offers a sympathetic smile. “Lance, we’re gonna get you help, but you’ve got to tell us what happened. Red was practically throwing a tantrum. The roaring woke us up.”

 

He does  _ not _ want to tell Shiro what just happened.

 

“Just a dream.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, this was a request from a friend that ended up becoming much longer than planned. Left it so that it could become a multi-chap if people really wanted that. I feel like it's mostly me rambling though.
> 
> This was in large part inspired by Shiro's little 'trip' into the astral plane in s2 when the Black Lion shows him Daibazaal. I thought it was a neat concept and wanted to try it out with these two!
> 
> Hope you liked it! Comments always appreciated!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @chez-shay (VLD) or @fire-filia (multifandom)


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